Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

I'm in a bit of a muddle.  In early  July, an educational/vocational opportunity was offered to me. This was an opportunity I had anticipated for at least two years.  However, due to funding issues, it had been repeatedly delayed.  In July, I once again was told this program could be a possibility for this Fall.

I sent back a request to meet and talk about it as it meant major vocational change.  When I heard nothing after over a month, despite a repeated email,  I presumed the funding got cut once more and started making other plans. 

Today I received a phone call that this program was indeed happening and I needed to make a decision by Friday and start next week!  This would result in my having to work 1 day less or 4 10-hour days to keep me at the same salery and to work 1 weekend per month.  It's doable but I'd have to disappoint quite a few people I've made commitments to for the next 6-9 months.  Among them would be my Rector at my church for whom I already work the equivalent of one weekend per month.

A year ago, say even two years ago, I wanted nothing more than this opportunity.  Now that two years have passed, I am not so sure.  A bad experience as a volunteer in this area has only deepened my self-doubt that this might not be my path.

My nephew just wrote a well-thought-out post on his blog about what people wanted when they make their concerns known on line.  He basically says that people want to be listened to, not given options.  Likely this is the case here.  I already know the options -- and the ramifications for each one on my future vocation, and on my current life and work.

So keep me in your prayers and good thoughts that I am led to the right path.  I will greatly appreciate them. 

Best,

BEN

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